The Burden of Masculine Shame/Unspoken Ways Our Society Raises its children to Balance the Power in a Patriarchal System.
Please be aware that in this discussion while I talk about men, women have a masculine part which follows a similar journey.
What does it mean when a young boy’s budding masculine sexuality is shamed whilst growing up and what influence does it have on his relating in the future?
Many young boys struggle to feel good about their sexuality as a full-bodied experience.
To invite and meet red-blooded, alive somatic desire, the embodied knowledge of Woman as mother and nurturer must be completely transformed into a state that includes ecstatic and passionate sexual expression.
If the biological or caretaking mother figure rejects or denies the existence of his sexual impulses (which most inadvertently do unless aware and without the presence of a healthy masculine figure to help differentiate the split mindset) there will be so much shame in the masculine to feel his whole self as an untainted, wild and free sexual being, as the loyalty to the Mother aspect in his psyche will be particularly strong and in direct conflict to the burgeoning leanings.
An example of a movie expressing this collective conscious framework is Alfred Hitchcock’s, ‘Psycho’. Norman Bates dressed up as his mother to kill off his unwanted sexual urges. Depicted here is the depths to which the masculine’s mental reasoning can become fragmented by the instilled self-disgust of more primary physical intentions.
Triggers in an experience connect to the core separation in the belief system of the masculine’s sexual desire and nurturing parts, swinging between extreme sexual expression when permitted by the self and repressed, modest behaviour.
Other times the dichotomy is revealed in attractions to two different people simultaneously offering an opportunity to blend the sexual self and the faithful, loving boy into wholeness. Herein we are drawn to the classic sexy, unknown, fantasy and the honest, trustable girl-next-door/caring confidante. If the woman has picked up shame around her sexual self in contrast to her mothering aspect she may need to draw two different men to play out the understanding of her own misinterpretation as well. Such as the dangerous, bad boy and the man she feels safe with.
I so honour the experience of my masculine aspect inside of me.
Deep bow to Him and the men in my life who play their roles so perfectly on this journey with me. My soul wouldn’t ask for it any other way.